Attendees stand and turn their backs on presidential candidate Michael Bloomberg as he talks in the Brown Chapel AME Church in Selma, Alabama on March 1, 2020.
REUTERS/Elizabeth Frantz
Several congregants in a historically black church in Selma, Ala. made their feelings about Michael Bloomberg very clear on Sunday when they stood up and turned their backs on him while he was speaking. The former New York mayor attended service at Brown Chapel AME Church in Selma, Alabama on the 55th anniversary of “Bloody Sunday,” when police attacked civil-rights marchers. Bloomberg spoke about the fight for civil rights and voter suppression but around 10 minutes into his speech, churchgoers began standing up and silently turned their backs on the former mayor. Around 10 people remained standing until Bloomberg stopped speaking.
Things were awkward for Bloomberg even before he began speaking. When Reverend Leodis Strong introduced Bloomberg he recalled that the former mayor first declined an invitation to speak at the church, claiming he had a busy campaign schedule. “I think that it’s important for Mr. Bloomberg, Mayor Bloomberg, to hear from you, listen to you, to learn from you,” Strong said. And then just as Bloomberg was about to speak, Strong chimed in once again. “Let me just say this. I think it’s important that he came,” Strong said. “And it shows a willingness on his part to change. And I like that, and I think that that is important.”
Bloomberg has been repeatedly criticized on the campaign trail for implementing the stop-and-frisk policy during his time as mayor which disproportionately targeted black and other minorities. Bloomberg apologized for the policy when he was entering the presidential contest.
“I was hurt, I was disappointed,” Strong said as Bloomberg looked. “I think it’s important that he came, and it shows a willingness on his part to change.”
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Chris Matthews of MSNBC waits to go on the air inside the spin room at Bally’s Las Vegas Hotel & Casino after the Democratic presidential primary debate on February 19, 2020 in Las Vegas, Nevada.
Ethan Miller/Getty Images
Those who tuned into MSNBC for the coverage of the South Carolina Democratic primary were likely surprised that a familiar face was not part of the network’s coverage. Chris Matthews is a fixture of MSNBC’s political coverage so his absence was more than evident and came a day after a woman accused him of sexual harassment. It also came after a string of embarrassing, cringe-worthy incidents that made Matthews the target of lots of criticism over the past week.
On Friday, columnist Laura Bassett wrote in GQ about how Matthews “inappropriately flirted” with her when she was a guest on his show four years ago. She had written about the encounter in 2017 without naming Matthews. “I was afraid to name him at the time for fear of retaliation from the network; I’m not anymore,” she wrote. “It was Chris Matthews.” Basset wrote about how Matthews looked over at her while she was getting her makeup done for the show and remarked, “Why haven’t I fallen in love with you yet?” He then continued to comment on her appearance.
Later Friday, Matthews had another cringe-worthy moment that put him on the spotlight for all the wrong reasons when he mistook Democratic Senate candidate Jaime Harrison with Republican Sen. Tim Scott. They are both black. “Big mistake. Mistaken identity, sir. I’m sorry,” Matthews said after he was corrected.
John Mulaney on Saturday Night Live is a sign that spring is on the way.
NBC
Comedian John Mulaney hosted Saturday Night Live this week for the third time in three years, and once again handed in one of the funniest, weirdest, and most ambitious episodes of the season. Mulaney, a veteran of the writing staff, made his hosting debut in April of 2018, returned in March of last year, and this week became the first person in history to host Saturday Night Live on Leap Day. That’s good news and it’s bad news: It means John Mulaney’s annual return to SNL has become a small, hopeful sign that winter is coming to an end, but also it means John Mulaney’s annual return to SNL is happening a little earlier every year, due to global warming. This year’s unseasonably warm John Mulaney episode featured seven on-air sketches, two cut-for-time sketches, and one monologue, adding up to 56 minutes and eight seconds of new John Mulaney material (plus nine minutes and thirty-five seconds of DavidByrne). It would be churlish and counterproductive to pit those sketches against each other, as though ranking things were a substitute for looking closely at craft, as though individual taste were disputable or even particularly interesting, as though art were nothing more than yet another degrading competition for time, attention, and money. So let’s dive right in! Here are John Mulaney’s sketches from this week’s episode of SNL, ranked from worst to best.
10. Coronavirus Cold Open
The devolution of SNL cold opens from laser-focused comedic premises like “Chevy Chase falls down” to loosely structured cavalcades of celebrity guest appearances continues apace. There’s just no reason a sketch about the Trump administration’s incompetent response to a potential pandemic should feature caricatures of the entire Democratic field, except that the underlying message of SNL’s political coverage lately is “what a zany cast of characters.” Last place.
9. The Admiral
John Mulaney is good in this, and there should be an entire television program in which Aidy Bryant and Kate McKinnon try to kill each other off Spy vs. Spy-style, but the big attraction is Beck Bennett’s flustered admiral ping-ponging back and forth between strict military discipline and the cartoonish lust of Tex Avery’s big bad wolf.
8. Jackie Robinson
Kenan Thompson is congenitally unable to stop his eyes from twinkling, which means he was born for roles like Terence “the Enlarged Heart” Washington, the “first black man to boo Jackie Robinson at a baseball game.” Thompson’s hilarious performance edges out Beck Bennett’s work in “The Admiral,” but was not quite up to the standards established by Kyle Mooney in “Kyle’s Transformation,” which is why this sketch is ranked one slot higher than “The Admiral” and one slot lower than “Kyle’s Transformation.”
7. Kyle’s Transformation
This sketch exists for one reason and one reason only: To let SNL’s makeup department go apeshit gluing things to Kyle Mooney’s face and torso. They did not waste the opportunity, but viewers should keep in mind that Mooney was able to transform himself because he used NBC’s money to hire a team of experts. You should not expect to achieve similar results by slathering liquid latex all over your face at 24 Hour Fitness.
6. Love Is Blind
This sketch was cut for time, but it’s a much funnier look at coronavirus than the cold open, because it leans farther into the gallows humor and doesn’t inexplicably feature surprise appearances from Mike Bloomberg or Bernie Sanders or Amy Klobuchar. (The downside is that it doesn’t inexplicably feature surprise appearances from Fred Armisen or Larry David or Rachel Dratch.) But the best detail here is the way the sketch repeatedly undercuts the bombastic smarm of reality TV scores, interrupting string crescendos with the wail of biohazard alarms or the quiet sound of a man passing out and faceplanting in his isolation cell.
5. Uncle Meme
“A self-serious man sputters with rage as he explains exactly how and why he has been humiliated, further humiliating himself in the process” is an evergreen premise and John Mulaney is very good at executing it.
4. You Go Show
Another cut-for-time sketch, “You Go Show” is a brilliant showcase for Mulaney at his driest. His voice has a television cadence that instantly evokes professional insincerity: You expect his words to be polished and positive, but you also expect them to be essentially meaningless. So a sketch like this one, in which Mulaney politely says terrible things plays to his strengths. The fact that his character’s name is “Danny Rash” is just a bonus.
3. Sound of Music: Rolf and Liesel
Structurally, this is similar to the “You Go Show”: Mulaney takes a form that is smarmy and familiar enough that we’re used to half-listening to it, then packs it full of arsenic. But this version is slightly funnier, simply because Mulaney’s character in the “You Go Show” sketch is better at keeping a lid on his madness, while his Rolf is running around the gazebo singing verses like, “I am thirty-three, / Next month I’ll be thirty-nine, / Baby, I’m forty-one!”
2. Monologue
John Mulaney’s routine about the Founding Fathers is typical, run-of-the-mill John Mulaney standup, which would put it toward the top of this ranking even if there were nothing more to it. But Mulaney was also the first Saturday Night Live host in a long time to use his monologue to suggest that it might be time to assassinate the president. Here’s the joke, which has got to be some kind of landmark:
It is a Leap Year, as I said. Leap Year began in the year 45 B.C. under Julius Caesar. This is true. He started the Leap Year to correct the calendar and we still do it to this day. Another thing that happened under Julius Caesar is that he was such a powerful maniac that all the senators grabbed knives and they stabbed him to death. That’d be an interesting thing if we brought that back now! I asked my lawyer if I could make that joke, and he said, “Let me call another lawyer,” and that lawyer said yes.
That’s funny, but it’s still a profoundly dangerous and irresponsible thing for John Mulaney to say on national television. After all, “all” of the Roman senators didn’t grab knives; only about 60 out of 900 were involved, and raising the false hope of bipartisanship like that after the Obama years is nothing but a recipe for inaction.
1. Airport Sushi
John Mulaney’s first big Saturday Night Live musical was “Diner Lobster,” which featured three songs from Les Misérables with new lyrics about the wisdom of ordering a lobster at a diner. His second-go-round was “Bodega Bathroom,” which began as an investigation into the wisdom of using the bathroom at a bodega, but over the course of five songs—three from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, one from Cats, and one from Rent—expanded into a much wider salute to the mysteries of bodegas. Now there’s “Airport Sushi,” a sweeping portrait of LaGuardia Airport that borrows from The Phantom of the Opera, West Side Story, Annie, Wicked, Little Shop of Horrors, and American Utopia for its seven songs, and features surprise guest appearances from David Byrne and Jake Gyllenhaal. Bigger and broader and more and more guest stars: It’s the same thing that happened to Saturday Night Live’s cold opens over the years, except that “Airport Sushi” is a masterpiece.
So how is it that the same creative process delivers such disparate results? Part of it is that “Airport Sushi” answers the burning question, “How would Little Orphan Annie pronounce “de Blasio?” Part of it is that Beck Bennett shows up halfway through dressed in a giant baby costume. And part of it is the tantalizing possibility that Jake Gyllenhaal’s deranged performance on John Mulaney & the Sack Lunch Bunch was not a one-off but the first page of an exciting new chapter in his career. But mostly, what makes “Airport Sushi” so much funnier, smarter, and objectively better than “Coronavirus Cold Open” is that it made me, personally, laugh more and I liked it the best. That alone is more than enough to propel “Airport Sushi” all the way to the top spot of Slate’s official list of John Mulaney sketches from his third time hosting Saturday Night Live.
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President Donald Trump kisses the flag of the United States of America at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) at Gaylord National Resort & Convention Center February 29, 2020 in National Harbor, Maryland.
Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images
Shortly after he held a news conference at the White House on the latest regarding the coronavirus outbreak, including the first death in the United States, Trump headed to the Conservative Political Action Conference. Surrounded by cheering fans, Trump gave a campaign speech that included lots of criticism of Democrats and even some Republicans. At the end of his speech, Trump decided to lovingly caress and kiss the American flag that was on stage while mouthing the words, “I love you, baby.”
It was quite the scene and a bit of a redo from last year when the crowd at CPAC loved it that Trump hugged the flag tightly when he came out on stage. The move was roundly mocked by many but Trump’s fans ate it up. It seems the reaction was the same this year. “Number one goal in life: Find someone who loves you as much as President Trump loves this gorgeous flag,” a supporter wrote on Twitter. Others, however, were not so impressed with the display. “This flag is easily the oldest thing Trump has ever sexually assaulted,” someone else wrote.
President Donald Trump hugs the U.S. flag as he arrives to speak at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in National Harbor, Maryland, on March 2, 2019.
Earlier in the speech, Trump picked up on what has become a familiar talking point: Making jokes about a 17-year-old. Trump still seems mighty bitter that teenage climate activist Greta Thunberg was named Time’s “Person of the Year” instead of him and on Saturday said he didn’t even know who she was. “This year, I lost to Greta,” Trump said as the crowd laughed. “I said, ‘Who?’” Trump didn’t take the mockery much further though: “I’m not going to get involved in that because, last time, I got in a little trouble.”
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My 4-year-old daughter, “Ginny,” has had to deal with a lot of death over the past year: one of our dogs, my mother’s dog, my mother’s close friend and roommate—both of whom Ginny loved—and a grandfather she didn’t really know. Now she has made the leap to ME dying. It didn’t help that someone tried to show her Bambi. (She did not make it past Bambi’s mother dying, and she spent two weeks worried that I would be shot by hunters.) She has also apparently decided that cemeteries are where you go to die and recently got very upset that when it was her turn to die she wouldn’t know which cemetery to go to. She tells me every day that she will miss me if I die.
Unfortunately, we have a 15-year-old dog, Sunny, who will soon need to be euthanized. What’s the best way to do this so that it’s as nontraumatizing for our daughter as possible? The other dog very suddenly went into renal failure, so Ginny could see that she was sick and at least somewhat understood that something was wrong that couldn’t be fixed. With Sunny, it’s been a slow decline, with signs that are subtler and harder to explain. My mother has suggested that when it’s time to euthanize her, we do so quietly, while Ginny is at school, and let her know only after the fact. This goes against my instincts, but I’m wondering if it would be best for her.
I should add that a lot of her personal identity appears to be tied to having a dog. (When the first one died, one of the things Ginny said was “But I have two dogs! I’m the girl with two dogs!”) She has made the connection that Sunny is old and will one day die, and she has expressed the concern that when that happens we will “just be three people living in a house with no dog.” (We love dogs, so there will be another one eventually, although we do not want to rush that decision.)
I don’t know if it’s relevant, but Ginny was adopted as an infant and is aware of her adoption. She has always struggled with wanting to keep things “forever”—even inanimate objects. She was distressed when my car had to be left at the mechanic’s overnight. And when we’re out shopping, she will form an immediate attachment to a toy we aren’t going to buy and worry that it needs a home—and she can only leave it at the store if she gives it a hug and tells it goodbye. Doesn’t this suggest that she needs the chance to say goodbye to Sunny?
—Dealing With Way Too Much Death
Dear DWWTMD,
First things first: Every child at some point realizes that their mother is going to die someday and freaks out. Classic fairy tales (and Disney cartoons) are supposed to be able to help children work out their feelings about this. (Bruno Bettelheim, among others, has written whole books about it.) I’m sure many children do experience this much lower-level trauma through Bambi’s mother’s or Simba’s father’s deaths, etc., but because I too had a child who found these narratives unbearable at your daughter’s age, I know firsthand that this doesn’t work at all for supersensitive children.
And you have one of these. I don’t know if it will make you feel any better to hear that my daughter, who is my biological child, also worried when she was Ginny’s age about what would become of the lonely toys left in the store … and the hat she’d accidentally left overnight at a friend’s house, and the lone sliver of soap I tried to discard, and the hurt feelings of any stuffed animal of hers that she forgot to say goodnight to. As an adult she has (mostly) grown out of this sort of thing, but she is still an unusually sensitive person (for better or worse).
I tell you all of this because while death is hard for any child, I do think Ginny may be having a harder time than most (and I don’t think there’s any reason to assume this has anything to do with her being adopted). It wouldn’t hurt to have her see a therapist (honestly, it never hurts to see a therapist) who specializes in treating children, just to see if there’s anything going on beyond what meets the eye. Meanwhile, of course she has made the leap to your death and is going through a period of worrying about it. (Just wait till she makes the next leap—to her own death. That’s coming, too.) Like everyone, she will work her way through this: We all walk around knowing that everyone we love is going to die, and we all find ways to live with that knowledge.
We all walk around knowing that everyone we love is going to die, and we all find ways to live with thatknowledge.
As far as Sunny the dog is concerned, since Ginny has already figured out that “Sunny is old and will one day die,” it seems she is preparing herself for this. She is even trying out the scenario that’s ahead: three people and no dogs in your household. I don’t think this means that her identity is unusually, worrisomely tied up with being the girl who has dogs; I think she is narrating her own life to you (and to herself), figuring things out. I also don’t think she will be any more devastated by Sunny’s death than she was by the others’—which is to say, she will be devastated, as we all are when we suffer a loss, but she will recover. She’s learning the hard lesson everybody learns, which is that nothing and no one lasts forever. As I say, this may be a particularly bitter pill for her—but that doesn’t mean she won’t be able to swallow it.
As to your mother’s advice: I’m with her. I think the act of saying goodbye to a pet who is going to die soon is too complex for a 4-year-old. You should not lie to your child, but a simple, “Ginny, I’m so sorry, but we lost Sunny today” is an appropriate thing to say. It’s one thing for a child to learn that loved ones die; it’s next-level to ask them to understand why we sometimes make the decision to let them go ourselves. I’d save that conversation for when she’s older. And for what it’s worth, I don’t think not having had the chance to say goodbye to Sunny is going to be the hardest part for her.
• If you missed Friday’s Care and Feeding column, read it here.
I have always loved to travel, on small and large trips. When my child was little, we went on as many trips as we could afford, which wasn’t many, but I always looked forward to them and planned them way in advance. Now my son is a 13 … and he hates traveling. He doesn’t find anything fun about being in a new place or seeing new stuff right now. Even on a long weekend, he makes us all miserable by complaining about everything and nonstop asking if we can go home yet. I don’t want him to be unhappy, and I don’t want to grit my teeth through something that should be fun, but I feel stapled to the ground. Should I give up on this until he’s old enough to stay alone, or try to change his mind? Traveling without my wife isn’t fun for me, so I don’t want to leave them both behind. We don’t have any relatives to leave him with.
—Grounded
Dear Grounded,
After 13 years, surely it isn’t news to you that being a parent means sometimes making sacrifices for the sake of our children? You’re not going to “change his mind.” He might feel differently about travel when he’s older; he might feel differently about travel now if it weren’t with his parents. (He is definitely at an age when a long weekend with his parents might feel like torture.) I realize I’m a big-picture gal, and this sometimes drives people crazy (not just people who read this column, but my IRL family and friends), but it doesn’t seem to me that it would be that awful to wait a couple of years before resuming your happy-go-lucky traveling ways—by then he can be left alone for a long weekend. And as he grows up, which is happening as I type, you’ll be able to be away longer. And of course once he leaves for college or otherwise moves out and begins his adult life, you and your wife will have the rest of your lives to travel to your heart’s content, whenever and for as long as you like.
In terms of long weekends, though, if you really cannot bear to go two or three years without a getaway with your wife, and you have no family or family friends who might be glad or at least willing to host your son for a few days, doesn’t your son have any friends he might be able to spend a weekend with once in a blue moon? Doesn’t he sometimes go on sleepovers? Couldn’t one be extended for an extra night or two?
The last thing I want to say about this may be even more infuriating than my suggestion that you sit tight for a couple of years. And that’s to wonder aloud, in regard to your confession (?) that traveling without your wife isn’t fun for you, if you might not need to grow up a little too?
Dear Care and Feeding,
I live about five hours from my best friend. We are both single women, and she recently gave birth to twins she had on her own with donor sperm. Before the babies were born, I told her I wanted to visit once they arrived and asked her to let me know when she felt ready for visitors. She responded immediately and said to come any time after the first week. I suspected that would still be too soon, but we tentatively discussed me coming for a three-day weekend when the babies would be around 3 weeks old. As the weekend approached, she posted on social media about friends who came to spend the night and help her with the babies, so I figured she might be up for a visit from me after all. But when I reached out to confirm, she told me not to come because the babies (and she) weren’t sleeping and she didn’t think I’d have a fun visit. I assured her that I wanted to visit to help, not to have fun, but I didn’t push it. Since then she has posted on social media about other friends coming to stay and helping her with the babies. I’m extremely hurt that she rejected my help but accepts it from others. I feel like I can’t talk to her about it without making this about me and my feelings, when she’s the one who’s going through a thing. One friend advised me to just tell her that I’m coming to visit and show up to help, but I’m deeply uncomfortable with that option. I don’t want to ask to visit and be hurt again if she says no, but I also feel like if I wait for an invitation, I’ll never meet her babies. What do I do?
—Childless Wonderer
Dear CW,
I don’t know why—and you’ll never know either if you don’t ask, I guess—but your friend does not want you to visit. You’ve made it clear that you want to be there; she’s made it clear that she would not welcome a visit from you right now. You don’t mention whether the other friends she’s had as visitors are parents themselves. If they are, it’s quite possible that she wants only visitors right now who have experience with babies, who can provide hands-on help and advice of a type you can’t. But in any case, you should certainly not just “show up” (that is terrible advice—you are quite right to be uncomfortable about it!) and you shouldn’t ask again, either. The question to ask, point-blank, is why she doesn’t want you there. That is, if the possibility I’ve just suggested is clearly wrong, and if you have searched your memory and mind and heart and cannot think of a single reason she might feel that having you there at this stressful, demanding time might seem like too much for her. Is there anything in your history that suggests she would feel she had to take care of you? Or that if you’re not having “fun” you won’t be happy? Or that you are not in fact “best friends” (or, rather, that she’s yours but you’re not hers)? If the honest answer to all of these questions is hell no, then ask her. Sure, this conversation will be about you and your feelings. And yeah, she may be unhappy about you asking her to consider your feelings when she’s got so much on her plate. And—most important of all—you need to be prepared to hear something you don’t want to hear, and that you will hurt. Even more than you are now.
—Michelle
More Advice From Slate
My 10-year-old daughter has a boyfriend. He is her age, and they are both sweet kids. They spend most of their time climbing trees, playing with friends, and doing other typical 10-year-old things. Tonight, she told me that they sometimes kiss. On the lips. It seems innocent and sweet, but she’s 10. Is this OK?
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Get this: a Democratic primary featuring a centrist vs. a progressive.
Rep. Henry Cuellar, 64, is the Democratic incumbent in the 28th District, which stretches down from San Antonio to encompass a big stretch of the U.S.-Mexico border. He describes himself as “pro-business” and has cast votes against abortion rights and gun control bills. His opponent, Jessica Cisneros, is 26 years old and has been endorsed not just by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Bernie Sanders, and Elizabeth Warren but also by more conventionally mainstream Democratic groups like EMILY’s List and the Texas AFL-CIO. Cuellar argues that his district’s voters appreciate his moderate-to-conservative viewpoint, and Cisneros says they are ready for someone more progressive. With no public polling having been conducted in the district, there’s no way to tell who’s right until Tuesday, but it sure sounds like a familiar dynamic!
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